I write you from the MayDay Cafe by Powderhorn Park in Minneapolis. My car is filled with clothes, food, hula hoop, tinctures, instruments, camping supplies, and things only a yoga teacher would deem necessary to travel with. I’ve done it! I’ve packed up my material life.
Packing up my emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies to be ready for the journey has been a bit more challenging. Flowing through Wisconsin and sharing love and nourishment with family and friends felt so so good. Traveling creates this yummy space for total presence; when we’re out of our routines and busy schedules, we remember that all we’re really here to do is meet each moment with loving awareness. In giving our authentic selves, we discover who we really are when our comforts and usual identity markers are taken away. We find ourselves out of context.
It was a gift to celebrate the Jewish New Year with my family and friends, and I’m still warmed by the thoughts (and hey maybe the extra love on my body from all that great food). Then it was time to get real about preparing for this trip/move. Thankfully, Kohenet Taya Shere posted one last lesson for our online course Presencing the Priestess Body: Presencing Completion. YESS! With this framework, I witnessed myself complete a 17 year cycle in Minnesota.
I noticed that I seemed to regress, journeying back through cycles I thought I’d worked through. I re-created a duality between my living at my parents’ house and moving to Arizona or California. My past limitations, self-criticisms, doubts, habits and illusions came back out to play. Anxiety, over-eating, indulging in things that don’t truly feed me, ego traps, and that desire to just crawl in bed and binge on Garfunkel and Oates (great show if you haven’t watched it) all showed up. Thankfully, I met them with the tools I’ve gained. Connecting with my parents felt more difficult as we experienced an intense push and pull that on some level always exists. They would say things about how I shouldn’t leave, imagine worst case scenarios, etc., grieving the loss of the way things have been until now. Of course they don’t want me to move far away; I’m lucky to have parents who love me and enjoy being with me. At the same time, they do want to support me and to help me prepare logistically to leave. That support sometimes felt overwhelming; I wanted to do this myself! I crave independence! It’s time for me to do things my way! And yet I appreciated their help and attention. So here we are in that awkward moment of another labor, giving birth to my new life and separating from the womb that has supported my growth thus far. It’s been a great place to grow! And now it’s time to expand.
Following Taya’s suggestion of approaching completion from a YES to what I’m moving toward…
- developing and honoring my inner senses
- following my heart
- connecting with people who inspire me
- exploring partnership
- giving myself time and opportunities for creative expression
- open possibilities
- participating in an infinite cycle of nourishment
- visiting places and people I love
- LIVING AS LOVE
Completing in a way that denies myself those things (with stress, scarcity, etc) feels incongruent and causes me to doubt my ability to be in alignment on my trip. Aha! Makes sense. Storing that one in the files.
I’m feeling pretty awesome about how I’ve handled this phase. Giving myself Reiki, getting outside, rituals, meditation, time with loved ones, setting intentions, dancing/movement, affirmations and just DOING the things I need to do to get ready have helped a ton. So now I find myself finishing this post in perfect timing to get to my dear friend Justin’s house, where friends from all corners of my life will come together to creatively connect! We’ll eat good food, play music, write blessings to be scattered across the country, meet new friends, and have some epic hugs. Probably 90% of it will be hugs.
Then I get to pick Marcos up for a sleepover at my parents’ house before we set out at 6am for the Black Hills National Forest!!!!!! WOOHOO!
Thank you for witnessing and co-creating with me! Loving you here in this moment with smiles about what’s to come 🙂